I have been off on maternity leave for a year now. Today is my very last day home with Hazel. I say I’ve been off for a year but I have in fact also still been working for both Fotaflo and my freelance during the year. Which is something I am both proud of and feel guilty about at the same time. I think that’s sort of the gist of being a Mom and having a career in a nutshell.
It has been the best year though, so much better than I had imagined and believe me I had high hopes going in! Hazel has changed so much in this past year it seems crazy that I am going to miss a full eight hours of those changes while I’m at work. I swear if she walks when I am at work I am just not acknowledging it until it happens for me and that will be when I recognize her first steps – denial is a big part of how I choose to cope. I’m happy to say that although I am conflicted about leaving Hazel to go back to work I am really proud of how we spent our year together. I made sure to be consciously aware of how fast our precious time together was going and laughed a lot every single day. We made a lot of amazing new friends and I am even now the proud member of a mom group text!
I’m still not exactly sure how our first day apart is going to go but I knew even less about our first day of maternity leave and that worked out pretty well, so fingers crossed!